I've never really done any sort of "new year's" post or journal entry before, but this year, I wanted to take a little time to thank God for all His gifts to me in the past year and to declare and pray for blessings in the new year! I would just make this a journal entry, but honestly, I knew this would be long and writing for that long makes my wrist hurt. So it gets to be a blog post instead. ;)
I know everyone says this every year, but 2012 really flew by, didn't it? I still remember things from last January that still seem very new and fresh in my mind! On the other hand, there were times in 2012 that I wanted to go by quicker. Overall, though, I've been finding myself really valuing time this year. In the first half of the year, I had lots of fun times and did lots of things, then looked back and realize I didn't savor those moments long enough. There were some times that I wasn't really in the moment, though I would look back later and realize how precious it was. I've been trying lately to fully live in the time that I have and appreciate time more. God, please help me to live in every moment and appreciate it. Thank you, Lord, for the time that You've given me.
I had lots of new experiences this year, and (not trying to be conceited) I've seen myself mature a lot. As I mature more, I see more areas that need maturing, as well, but in the past year, God has taught me to be courageous and to get out of my comfort zone. Though doing that is extremely uncomfortable sometimes, it leads us to places that are so much better than where we were. For me, trying new things and becoming more independent is scary, but I am so very thankful that my God is with me every step of the way. (Deut. 31:8) In fact, He's one step ahead of me. He walks in front of me, holding my hand, and leading me forward. God, please help me to be so much more aware of Your presence with me this year. Thank you, Lord, for being with me every step of the way.
To be honest, I think I've become rather pessimistic this year. On the surface, 2012 was an amazing year for me - I had major success in debate, and did extremely well in my fall semester. When I look at 2012, though, I'm tempted to only remember the inner struggles that I faced in the year, because those seemed much more prominent. This year, I dealt with a lot of insecurities and fears. I had lots of doubts, and I remember having a lot of "dry times". There is so much hope, though. I am encouraged that God is intentional, and that He uses everything for our advantage and His glory. There is nothing that is wasted and nothing that is meaningless. Lord, in 2013, please open my eyes to Your ways and Your purposes. Please teach me to be positive and live with the hope that You've given me. Thank you, Lord, that everything in my life works into Your plan.
Very lately, God has been reminding me of who I am in Him. I have a royal identity, and so do you. You and I literally cannot imagine exactly how loved, accepted, and forgiven we are. I can imagine a lot of love, and acceptance, and forgiveness. But God's is still bigger - like what I can imagine times a billion, and then some. God wants us to keep our identities in front of us at all times, because the knowledge of who we are makes us confident and strong. Satan wants us to forget who we are so we're weak. He wants us to think that we have no defenses against him, and no right to even resist him. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. God has taught me and reminded me in 2012 that I am a child of God, daughter of the King, and princess in the Kingdom of Heaven - heck yes I have a right to resist the devil! Father, please remind me of my identity even more this year. Lord, thank you for the identity You've given me!
Lastly, in 2012, God has taught me to truly appreciate family. I can honestly say that God has given me a love for my family that's directly from Him this year. In the past twelve months, I've enjoyed being with my parents (and extended family) more than ever, and I have realized that they are the biggest blessings He has given me. He's used that to show me just a glimpse of what His family is like, and when I think about how much love is just in my little family, I get such a thrill thinking about what God's whole family will look like one day when we're all together. I don't have any biological brothers or sisters, but God has sure compensated for that by giving me friends who have become brothers and sisters. I think the ability to make friends is an amazing thing. The phenomenon of two strangers meeting, and clicking, and deciding to become "friends" just leaves me in awe. And then some of them become family. You don't have to be especially outgoing or attractive to make a friend. God's given us all the ability and it makes me really happy. I sincerely love my family and my friends. Is there really any difference between the two? If you're reading this and I know you personally, thank you for being my friend, or my family, or both. I'm praying that God will give me the strength to love even more fully and much more selflessly in 2013. Thank you, Lord, for the people You've given me to love.
There is so, so much more that I could say, but this is already a long post and I'm getting tired. 2012 was a blessed year, but I declare that 2013 will be even better. Lord, please draw me deeper in Your love in 2013! Make me more like You! I am excited for the new experiences, new friends, and new memories that I'll find in 2013. May ALL the glory be given to God this new year.
Happy new year! It'll be a happy one indeed!
