A New Year

I've never really done any sort of "new year's" post or journal entry before, but this year, I wanted to take a little time to thank God for all His gifts to me in the past year and to declare and pray for blessings in the new year! I would just make this a journal entry, but honestly, I knew this would be long and writing for that long makes my wrist hurt. So it gets to be a blog post instead. ;)

I know everyone says this every year, but 2012 really flew by, didn't it? I still remember things from last January that still seem very new and fresh in my mind! On the other hand, there were times in 2012 that I wanted to go by quicker. Overall, though, I've been finding myself really valuing time this year. In the first half of the year, I had lots of fun times and did lots of things, then looked back and realize I didn't savor those moments long enough. There were some times that I wasn't really in the moment, though I would look back later and realize how precious it was. I've been trying lately to fully live in the time that I have and appreciate time more. God, please help me to live in every moment and appreciate it. Thank you, Lord, for the time that You've given me.

I had lots of new experiences this year, and (not trying to be conceited) I've seen myself mature a lot. As I mature more, I see more areas that need maturing, as well, but in the past year, God has taught me to be courageous and to get out of my comfort zone. Though doing that is extremely uncomfortable sometimes, it leads us to places that are so much better than where we were. For me, trying new things and becoming more independent is scary, but I am so very thankful that my God is with me every step of the way. (Deut. 31:8) In fact, He's one step ahead of me. He walks in front of me, holding my hand, and leading me forward. God, please help me to be so much more aware of Your presence with me this year. Thank you, Lord, for being with me every step of the way.

To be honest, I think I've become rather pessimistic this year. On the surface, 2012 was an amazing year for me - I had major success in debate, and did extremely well in my fall semester. When I look at 2012, though, I'm tempted to only remember the inner struggles that I faced in the year, because those seemed much more prominent. This year, I dealt with a lot of insecurities and fears. I had lots of doubts, and I remember having a lot of "dry times". There is so much hope, though. I am encouraged that God is intentional, and that He uses everything for our advantage and His glory. There is nothing that is wasted and nothing that is meaningless. Lord, in 2013, please open my eyes to Your ways and Your purposes. Please teach me to be positive and live with the hope that You've given me. Thank you, Lord, that everything in my life works into Your plan. 

Very lately, God has been reminding me of who I am in Him. I have a royal identity, and so do you. You and I literally cannot imagine exactly how loved, accepted, and forgiven we are. I can imagine a lot of love, and acceptance, and forgiveness. But God's is still bigger - like what I can imagine times a billion, and then some. God wants us to keep our identities in front of us at all times, because the knowledge of who we are makes us confident and strong. Satan wants us to forget who we are so we're weak. He wants us to think that we have no defenses against him, and no right to even resist him. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. God has taught me and reminded me in 2012 that I am a child of God, daughter of the King, and princess in the Kingdom of Heaven - heck yes I have a right to resist the devil! Father, please remind me of my identity even more this year. Lord, thank you for the identity You've given me!

Lastly, in 2012, God has taught me to truly appreciate family. I can honestly say that God has given me a love for my family that's directly from Him this year. In the past twelve months, I've enjoyed being with my parents (and extended family) more than ever, and I have realized that they are the biggest blessings He has given me. He's used that to show me just a glimpse of what His family is like, and when I think about how much love is just in my little family, I get such a thrill thinking about what God's whole family will look like one day when we're all together. I don't have any biological brothers or sisters, but God has sure compensated for that by giving me friends who have become brothers and sisters. I think the ability to make friends is an amazing thing. The phenomenon of two strangers meeting, and clicking, and deciding to become "friends" just leaves me in awe. And then some of them become family. You don't have to be especially outgoing or attractive to make a friend. God's given us all the ability and it makes me really happy. I sincerely love my family and my friends. Is there really any difference between the two? If you're reading this and I know you personally, thank you for being my friend, or my family, or both. I'm praying that God will give me the strength to love even more fully and much more selflessly in 2013. Thank you, Lord, for the people You've given me to love.

There is so, so much more that I could say, but this is already a long post and I'm getting tired. 2012 was a blessed year, but I declare that 2013 will  be even better. Lord, please draw me deeper in Your love in 2013! Make me more like You! I am excited for the new experiences, new friends, and new memories that I'll find in 2013. May ALL the glory be given to God this new year.

Happy new year! It'll be a happy one indeed!

Walking the Talk

A couple days ago, I stumbled upon this on the Internet:

Usually I would be angered or offended by this, but this time, I agreed with it, and thought what a sad truth it spoke of. Now, there are some sound arguments that could be made against the mindset of this comic, but I think what it's trying to communicate is, sadly, what the world sees in a lot of Christians.

As illustrated in the picture, very often, the first thing that comes to peoples' minds when they think of Christianity is judgment. Hypocrisy. Hate.

Uh, wait, you mean like Christians who are supposed to be ambassadors of Christ?

How did we get like this? Don't we affectionately call our Bible God's "love letter" to us? Isn't the God we serve not just the God of love, but love itself? Doesn't our favorite verse, John 3:16, talk about how God so LOVED the world? The very same world who we judge, and who sees us as judgmental and hateful?

How have Christians come so far from showing love and living out the love of Christ..to doing the very opposite? For being known for hate? And judgment?

Now, I know the world will always have arguments against Christians. When we're not being judgmental, we're using God as a crutch, or we're just ignorant and foolish for believing what we do. Etc. However, I think the judgmental-ness of Christians is not totally unwarranted. There IS a lot of bad stuff in the world, and a whole lot of sin, and quite frankly, it is disgusting. But isn't one of our mottos, "Hate the sin, not the sinner"?

Truthfully, most of the Christians I know are really nice people. And there are lots of other Christians I don't know who are also really nice people. But I think in general, as a church and the body of Christ, we need to do a bit less judging and a bit more loving. Actually, a LOT more loving.

I think 1 Corinthians 4:20-21 sums it up beautifully: "For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power. Which do you choose? Should I come with a rod to punish you, or should I come with love and a gentle spirit?" What if all the Christians chose this as their life verse, and really lived it, especially in their interactions with non-Christians? What would happen? There will always be cynics in the world who will always find some argument against us. But I think overall, there would be much less hypocrisy and much less judgment going on.

I don't want to be just the exception, but if that's how it has to begin, so be it. Lord, start with me. Let me be the Christian that loves, and doesn't judge. Spirit, work through me and in me to love and become more like Jesus!

The Greatest Treasure Hunt

Treasure hunting has always fascinated us. The map, the figuring out how to get there, the actual treasure, and the focus on that one thing - the earnest search for the treasure.

I have personally realized that knowing God and feeling His presence is the greatest treasure in the world. There is a hunt that has to come before we find this treasure, though. If you're anything like me, you know that being a Christian and knowing God is not a continual mountaintop experience - sometimes it's difficult to connect and see beyond your normal everyday routine. There are dry seasons, and there are seasons when you feel far away.

But we want the treasure all the time! Why is it so hard sometimes?

Honestly, I don't have a definitive answer for that. I do know that God leads us through dry seasons and teaching us as much through them as He does through the mountaintop experiences.

Thankfully, though, our God is very loving, and very merciful. When you're in a dry season, if you want to get out, search for Him - and you will find Him. Lamentations 3:25 says, "The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him."

I once heard someone say that when we feel lost, if we just make a motion to turn to God, He runs to us and fills the gap. He's that good. He says in Jeremiah 29:13, "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you." God isn't going to play hide and seek with us. He isn't a god who's only available  from 9 to 5. He is always standing there with arms open, waiting for you to come.

Dry seasons are hard. Whether it's because of sin, or doubt, or busyness, it's never fun. But God promises that if you search for Him, you will find Him. The treasure does exist, and it's right in front of you.

(Israel & New Breed, I Will Search http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHC1w2WKfgU)

YOLO [You Only Love Once]

I realize that the title of this post is sort of ambiguous, so let me get right into it and explain what I mean.

YOLO. Definitely on the top ten trends of 2012. It usually stands for You Only Live Once, which has been disputed and talked about by Christians others who think that it's just an excuse to do stupid things. That isn't the point of this post though..I've actually used the YOLO "reasoning" in my decision-making in the past few months and found it useful. (Should I have that brownie?..YOLO! ...On the other hand, maybe I should stop..) Though yes, people can use the term to make unwise decisions, I think the concept behind it is actually sound, and (bing!) Biblical.

To me (and maybe I'm digging too much into this, but bear with me), the philosophy behind YOLO - doing things you normally wouldn't do because you only have one chance to do them - speaks of boldness, courage, and taking advantage of the time you have. I think that's absolutely where Christians should live. Too, too often, people (Christians and non-Christians alike) fail to see the big picture of their lives, and get hung up on the small things. We have to realize that our lives are very short, often shorter than we know, and we do need to take advantage of every minute we have.

This can mean different things to different people. Sometimes getting "hung up on the small things" means getting irritated with them and forgetting to be thankful. It could mean not seeing the good in people maybe as much as you should. For others, it could mean generally living in a place of timidity. That's the one for me. Looking back on my life, I'm just now realizing how timid I've always been, and how afraid (usually unconsciously) I am of stepping out. If you know me personally, you may be surprised, but I'm really not very good when it comes to being bold and taking chances.

And I say, enough. I'm tired of being timid and being afraid. As a Christian, I may not only live once, but I do live with the people I do in the circumstances I'm in once. And the truth is, I may only be able to love the people I'm around once. Does that make sense?

Now, I'm not planning on living with reckless courage from now on - being bold and courageous is not an excuse to be unwise. I think, though, that sometimes our "wisdom" gets in the way of us loving others, and in being who we truly are. To give an example, I just started a Spanish class at the college, and in the first few minutes of the class, the teacher wanted all the students to introduce ourselves and say what we're interested in, what our hobbies are, etc. We could say anything. I could have used that opportunity to say that I love Jesus - that I love worship, that I love reading my Bible; I had the floor all to myself for those few seconds. But my fear got the better of me, and instead I said something about how I like photography or something. Now, to be clear, I'm not saying that every chance we get, we should throw Jesus into the discussion or tell people how much we love to read our Bibles. I'm not saying we have to shove Christianity down everyone's throats. But in little instances like that...what did I have to be afraid of? The people in my class weren't going to pull pitchforks out of their book bags and chase me out of the classroom. My teacher wouldn't have expelled me. It would have been fine, and maybe it would have sparked a conversation about God later on.

I fully believe that God is in control, and He will work through me however He wants to. However, I also believe that in order for us to be fully used by God, we can't be standing in the back of the room, cowering. In order for us to be used by God, we have to be at the front, waiting, confident, and ready for battle.

Those who believe in God and serve Him have the Holy Spirit in them - the Spirit of the Living God. The God of all courage, of all strength. He is not the God of timidity. I personally am praying for God to give me courage - for the little things and the big things. Holy Spirit, let me be a vessel for you to flow through with your strength and boldness.

I'm only going to live here once, and I may only have one chance to love the people around me. I don't have time to be timid or afraid. Lord willing, I'm going to take God's advice in Joshua when he says, "be bold and courageous."

How about you?

Summer 2012.

Hey there. So, summer's officially over for me as of tomorrow. I know I mostly post about my deep (?) thoughts about God and whatnot, but as I was thinking about that and scrolling through on my Twitter, I saw someone I follow ask a question - What made you smile this summer? My summer has been pretty great, but I wanted to make a list of things that made me smile this summer, just for fun. I have a habit of only remembering the bad things and downplaying the good things sometimes, so this is more for my sake than yours. But feel free to read along anyway. But maybe some of the things made you smile as well. ;)

What made me smile this summer?
-getting to sleep in
-my hilarious parents
-my new obsession with White Collar
-sunshine
-my puppy
-Nationals and all that went with it
-precious kids at VBS
-finishing How To Kill A Mockingbird
-having good work-outs
-good music
-getting to have lunch with people I hadn't seen in a long time
-naps
-my birthday
-getting my iPhone
-crazy adventures with good friends
-making crafts from Pinterest
-friends' birthdays
-registering for college classes
-amazing worship services
-coffee
-La Madeliene
-square dancing
-spending time with my grandparents and extended family
-helping at debate camp
-making cheesecake and really messing it up with good friends
-graduation parties
-finally figuring out how to French braid my hair
-deep-cleaning my room


And there are many more. Thank you, Lord, for a blessed summer!

What made you smile this summer?

Guilt, Performance, and Righteousness

I struggle with feelings of guilt on a regular basis.

Maybe you do too, or maybe it's just me. Usually I lean toward the latter - I'm the only one who struggles with guilt, and that makes me...a bad Christian. (dun dun dun!)

You know what? What in the world does a "bad Christian" even look like? What kind of idiocy were we into when we coined that phrase? The term "bad Christian" is an oxymoron..and here begins my post.

The first thing I want to say to myself, and you, but mostly myself, is that there is no such thing as a bad Christian or a good Christian. I guess usually what people mean when they say bad or good Christian is what that Christian does with their life or how committed they seem to God - the "bad" Christian might not seem to get into worship at church, or maybe he only prays to God on Sundays. The "good" Christian goes to Bible study every week, prays everyday, and posts Scriptures on his Facebook. Maybe you don't categorize people like this, but I've caught myself doing it, and I'm just now realizing the flawed mindset behind it.

Maybe I'm just rambling here, but I think that we categorize Christians as good or bad, or maybe even whether they're "on fire" or not (did that hit close to home?) based on their performance. Let me ask you something. Does God love you based on your performance?

Hint: the answer to that question is a big fat NO. The Bible tells us that God's love is unfailing and unconditional, and Paul makes it very clear that nothing can separate us from God's love. Not bad performance. Not sin. Nothing.

So then why do we feel guilty?

Let me speak loud and clear by saying that we were made right with God through Christ - once and for all. If we start to think that we can be made right with God by doing good things, or that He'll love us more if we do more good, we are in tremendous danger of settling into a "works" mentality, instead of the faith mentality..and that's going back to the ol' "following-the-Law" mentality.

Just to be clear, I think there is something to be said for following the Spirit, and not the flesh, and spreading the Gospel, etc. But us doing those things or not doing those things does not affect God's love for us, and it does not affect whether we're saved by Christ or not.

I'm no New Testament scholar, but it seems to me that the Bible talks a whole lot more about the power of Christ's sacrifice, and the righteousness that comes from His sacrifice, than what we as Christians have to do to get God to love us. We have got to stop letting the enemy and our flesh work together and tell us that we are guilty and condemned, because our flesh is dead wrong when it tells us that, and the enemy has no right to speak that lie into us. I love how Paul puts it in Romans 8.. "If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? No one - for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who will then condemn us? No one."

No one. No. One. If God Himself decided that, through the blood of Christ, we are good enough for Him (sins and all), then who are we to tell ourselves, and who is the devil to tell us, that we are not good enough for God? That we're too sinful? That we ought to be feel guilty?

I know I'm rambling, so I'll wrap it up. Here's the bottom line: God's love is not performance-based. He expects you to sin. One thing I love about God is that He sees things how they are. He knows I'm going to sin. I'm sinful. He knows that and He loves me in spite of that. I don't have to feel one ounce of guilt, because God chose me, warts and all, and He said, "I love her. Through my Son's sacrifice, she is good enough."

He loves you. Through His Son's sacrifice, you are good enough.

Encouragement shpeel.

It seems like a lot of people, just in the last week, have been going through a lot of, quite frankly, crap. Everyone's having issues, everyone's feeling down..it's like the dark rainclouds that have been hanging around all week have become personal rainclouds over everyone's heads.

Myself included. God is opening my eyes and showing me that He is good in every season, but when you're down, it's sometimes hard to see that. He's teaching and teaching me, and slowly pulling me out, and I just wanted to share some scriptures with you if you are (or were, or whatever) going through the same thing. It can be anything: for me, a lot of little depressing things happened and it amounted to one big cloud of depression, insecurity, and confusion - but in your life, it could be relationship drama, loss, plain dullness-of-life, whatevs. Fortunately, God's word isn't exclusive to one people group or one issue.

First of all, I want to encourage you that God places everything in our lives for a reason: for our good and His glory. He says in Isaiah that He "will not cause pain without something new being born". Good will always, always come out of this.

Secondly, this is all temporary. Like, super temporary. Honestly, I think that when we get to heaven, our lives on earth will just seem like a dream - like something that happened a long time ago that's so small in comparison to the present. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." The mindset of the agnostic world today is that if you cannot see something, it doesn't exist - but God says that the unseen things are the point. If something is unseen but it still exists, it takes more faith and more devotion to it to believe in it. The world says that believing in an unseen God is silly, but the Lord says that we will be rewarded if we keep that faith.


Thirdly, (this one really applied to me and what I've been dealing with personally), God promises to restore. He is a restorative God who wants to give us vibrant, abundant life. He will not let us be in pain forever and for no reason. He says in Jeremiah 30:13, "I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing." It's a full exchange. If, for example, at a store, I exchange a black shirt for a white shirt, I don't have the black shirt anymore, at all. The white shirt is mine now. God promises to fully exchange our sorrows for joy, and fully restore.


He's amazing, and He is unchanging. Praise Him for that. We are so fickle and all over the place, but He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God is greater than our feelings (1 John 3:20). Wow. Even when I feel insecure, depressed, uncertain...God doesn't, and He isn't any of those. I love it. He is, forever, a God of peace, and joy, and mercy. So hang on.


Peace is coming.


Joy is coming.


Mercy is coming.

Crushing the Head of the Serpent

So, in the past couple weeks, and literally just in the past couple of days, God has been teaching me about, opening my eyes, and giving me first-hand experience (don't you love how he does that?) in spiritual authority over the enemy. Honestly, it's not always fun, but it's so valuable. Let me tell you about it.

It started two weeks ago when I was working at the vacation Bible school that my church puts on every year. It lasts for a week, and Thursday is traditionally "salvation day" - the day when we share the Gospel story with the kids and give them the salvation invitation, etc. Personally, I was praying for the Spirit to come and fill our mouths, and open the hearts of the kids, and He definitely did. It was awesome. I didn't feel like I had a whole lot, practically, to do with giving the salvation message and praying with the kids, but I was okay with that. So the day went on and it was great, and that night I went home exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I went to bed early, figuring I'd just fall asleep and feel renewed the next day. Not so. I didn't fall asleep - instead, I was confronted with the deepest, most awful fear I've ever experienced; not fear of anything in particular, not in relation to the happenings of the day, not for any particular reason, just random, awful, fear. Not panic. Suffocating, deep-seated fear. Honestly, I have never felt so alone and so attacked on all sides. After trying to deal with it myself for a while, I went to my parents and as usual, received some of their wisdom - this was an attack of the enemy. It all made sense. That day, my friends and I had done some major spiritual warfare, and the enemy was angry. My amazing parents prayed for me, and God rescued me from the attacks. The next morning talking to my friends, I found out that I wasn't the only one who had suffered an attack - others had been attacked with random health issues, discord among them, and loneliness like me. So that morning we prayed for protection from further attacks, and rebuked the enemy.

That was eye-opening. I've heard that the biggest lie that Satan can tell is that he does not exist. How true that is. I think at times it can get so bad that he attacks us and we immediately blame God. How twisted is that? My friends, we have to constantly be aware that we have an enemy, and he isn't just sitting on his couch eating potato chips. He's active, and he's vengeful.

So what are we supposed to do? Be afraid? Shy away from doing anything that would make him angry and attack us? No! The enemy's attacks are just another opportunity to trust God and take hold of our royal identities.

But before I go into that, let me tell you the rest of the story. After VBS, I pretty much forgot about the attack of fear, and went on to the next thing in my life. The next week I went to Minnesota and had a great time. I was supposed to fly out on Sunday night, and on Sunday morning, my amazing friend and sister-in-Christ sent me a text with a Bible reference - Joshua 1:3. This friend knows how to listen to the Lord, and so usually the things she tells me in reference to God/Scripture/whatever are pretty spot-on. So I looked up the verse, and it says, "I promise you what I promised Moses: 'Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you." Honestly, it didn't make much sense to me. It really didn't apply to anything that I could see in my life at the time, so I sort of forgot about it. Well. Fast forward to that afternoon, as I'm waiting in the airport to get on the plane...when all of a sudden a random fear starts to creep up on me. Honestly, I had no reason to be afraid, but for some reason, I was terrified and I didn't know why. Well hey there, Satan. Suddenly the verse that my friend had sent me that morning came to mind - wherever I set foot, I will be on the land the Lord has given me. I have authority where I stand because God has given it to me through His blood  - wherever I am, I have authority over Satan. Without me even intending it, God used that verse, and even that attack, to show me my authority He's given me over the enemy. 


Ironically, I have an application on my phone that's called Identity in Christ, and it posts random Bible verses everyday, and guess which verse it had for that day - Luke 10:19. "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you." Heck yes. Thank you, Lord, for planning it all out and basically plastering it in neon in front of my eyes that you have given me authority over the enemy. 


Attacks from the enemy are never fun. And honestly, fighting him isn't too fun either - but authority over Satan is something that God has given us. A gift, but also a tool. God has given us all the weapons we need to have victory over the enemy, and they all come from His blood. It's time that we as sons and daughters of God, as princes and princesses in His kingdom, take authority and take hold of our identity!

I.D.: Holy

Flipping through my journal, I find that every few months, I write the same thing: I'm so sick of the grime of the culture, and I need to be cleansed. The culture might seem fun sometimes, but in the end, I want holiness. I need holiness. I think we all do. Once we've seen or heard about the holiness of God, suddenly the yuck and dirt of the world doesn't seem as satisfying. Honestly, I think that's exactly how God intended it to be - we all have a God-shaped hole in our heart, and a longing for God includes a longing for his holiness. But how does that transfer to us? I was struggling with that, wanting to be holy and clean like He is, but at the same time, looking at my sin and thinking, "How the heck could this mess be considered holy?"


Hehe..well, God knew about my struggle, and He had something up His sleeve. He brought me to Hebrews 10:19-22.."And so we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean and our bodies have been washed with pure water." I love this verse, and I love that the last sentence is in past tense. Our guilty, sinful consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood. In the past. And now we're clean. It's done. 


Christ's blood is so powerful, that once it has washed over me, nothing else can touch me. Because of His blood, my identity is changed. I am no longer a sinner trying to be a saint, I am now a saint who sins. I know that sounds sort of anti-climactic, but look at it this way: before, we were stained black from the world's grime and dirt. Now, through the cleansing blood of Jesus, we wear white garments: the stains of the world may sometimes still splatter on us, but they will not stick. The Lord has given us holy robes, and they will not be permanently stained. 


So how am I made holy despite my sin and the dirt of the world? Through Jesus' blood. I do still sin, and I do sometimes get dirtied by the world, but my identity has been changed. I am no longer part of the world, I am part of the Kingdom. These present sufferings are nothing compared to the glory and holiness of what is to come!

To the One who took my place...

First, let me just say, the post-writing area of Blogger looks way different from when I wrote my last post, so if something looks weird when you see this, I apologize. ;)


Anyway, God is really awesome. He teaches me so many things I would never ever have thought of on my own. The fact that God would care enough about me to speak to me and teach me like a child of His own is overwhelming. Most of the stuff I post on here is that sort of thing.


A few weeks ago in church, a line in a worship song we sang really caught me. I had sung the song many times before, but God wanted to teach me something again. Here's what I wrote in my journal:


"To the One who took my place..


When He died on the cross, Jesus switched places with me. He took off His holy robe, placed it on me, and took my place on the cross. Jesus was already torn up and beaten up by the world, and splattered by the world's grime and dirt - He did that so I didn't have to. He wants me to take the place He gave me, as a child of God, in his holy, white, pure robes. I have no part in the things the world does - He took the dirt of the world so that I may live to be clean. The robes that He gave me are as white as snow!


Lord, please let your Spirit work in me and help me live in the place you gave me."


Those are His words, not mine. Thank you Lord, for the things you teach me. Let your Spirit work in me and help me live in the place you gave me and the words you speak to me!

"... But You have freed me from my chains."

People have always been really excited about freedom. People have always wanted to be free; I guess it's just something innate to human nature.

The freedom side of being a Christian is exciting to me - knowing that I am free in Christ always gives me a huge sense of joy? Carefree-ness? Um..freedom? Yeah. I like being free. And I think God likes reminding me of my freedom.

A good, simple analogy of our freedom is that we were bound in the chains of sin, but God broke those chains off. However...sometimes, whether intentionally or not, I think we pick up those chains, and put them back on. God has made us totally free from His judgment, from sin, and from death, but I guess we tend to forget that, and see those chains laying on the ground..and sometimes can't resist picking them up and putting them back on. We forget that God no longer judges us, and that it's okay if we mess up. We forget how broad His freedom and love are. This isn't something new. Paul knew how that goes. In Galatians 5:1 he says, "So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law." Whatever restriction or burden we feel, it's self-inflicted. God has made us totally free from sin, and free from condemnation.

We deserve to be punished for our sins, but God took that punishment, and made us a part of his family. Sorry to bring us back to square one, but sometimes I think we just need to be reminded of the basics like that. I love Psalm 116:16 - "Oh Lord, I am your servant; yes, I am your servant, born into your household. [But] you have freed me from my chains."

Honestly, we deserve to be treated as slaves and servants, or even something lower than that. But because of His grace, God brought us way up, and made us His children. Because of Jesus' sacrifice, I'm not a slave in the household anymore. I'm a master, because my Father is the King.

So why do I keep subjecting myself to the chains of condemnation? Why do I keep reminding myself of my sin?

Admittedly, it's really easy to do that: to focus on the sin, and to tell yourself that you could do better. But you know what? It is finished. God already decided a long time ago that YOU would be His child, and nothing you do is going to change that.

That's freedom.

A person's a person no matter how small.

Why do I always have the need to blog when I feel a rant coming on? Maybe because blogging is just a way to get my thoughts out, or maybe it's because I feel like you need to know about whatever I'm angry about too. Anyway..I really don't want to rant right now, I want to pray.

Right now I'm writing a speech on a former abortion clinic director, and so I'm having to lightly research abortion, and I'm like..Seriously? How can so many people think this is an okay thing? Just go on Planned Parenthood's official website and you'll see what I mean. They proudly announce that they provide services that are "safe and legal", services that respect your rights, and that abortions are actually only 3% of what goes on at the organization. In fact, if you want to know exactly what kinds of abortions that are available, they'll tell you in a nice, neat little section on their website, describing to you what will happen during the procedure, always with the comfort of you, the patient, in mind. All the while totally ignoring (or maybe not realizing) what's really happening. All the while realizing that there are two patients in that procedure - not just one. But only one will walk out of that room alive.

What is going on with our culture!? I think we can talk about how sinful and evil it all is all we want, but in the end, that's only half of it. The other half is this: our culture is blinded. God has given everyone a conscience, but when that conscience isn't listened to, it gets quieter and quieter, until finally, it can't be heard. These people who think this is right aren't just lying to themselves: in my opinion, they honestly believe that this is right. But they are blinded. Father, take our blinders off!

Lord, wake us up. Open the eyes of our culture, of our media, of our country. Send a revival of life over us!

Another thoughtful musing.. (literally.)

I think too much. But it seems like everybody says that, doesn't it? Maybe we just all think too much.

Lately I've been reading about truth, and the knowability of truth, and different perceptions of truth, etc, and it made me think. And I thought too much.

The problem with my thinking is that I try to apply the thought to things I know and can relate to. (Like for example, I read that a + b = c? Okay so peanut butter + jelly = PB&J! Right?..okay, maybe not.) Reading secular authors talk about philosophy and religion and truth really throws me off. When they say God isn't real, I'm like, "I know God is real..but..wait..how do I know that?" and then that gets me all confused again and I start to think too much and the whole cycle starts all over.

(Note: to be clear, when this happens, I'm not doubting the existence of God; I'm more doubting how I know He does exist and I get worried that I won't be able to explain it to anybody if they ever ask.) I don't know. Maybe you don't deal with this. I don't constantly, but every so often when I'm reading the opinions of secular authors on God, or faith, I get a little bit uncomfortable.

So anyway, I was thinking (haha.) about all of this, and thinking about how powerful my God is, I remembered in the midst of all this that He created knowledge. He created truth. Actually, He IS the truth. Furthermore, He created all these people that tell lies about Him, and He knew they were going to come up with their crazy ideas and theories.

It's funny how when I'm struggling with something, God knows about it and takes care of it. Because I was mulling this all over in my mind, and God put 2 Corinthians 10:5 in front of me: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I don't know if you ever struggle with this, but when I do, I have to put it in perspective and remind myself who I'm serving. I'm serving Christ, because He deserves to be served, and my tiny little mind isn't going to change that. "No doubt restrains the glory of our God." I may think, therefore I am (I do exist), but it certainly isn't the case that if I don't think, God isn't. You know what I mean?

It's so easy to forget we have an enemy, and that he is fierce. Satan does whatever he can to keep us from serving God or glorifying Him with everything. Jesus said to love God with our heart, soul, and mind. I think sometimes we forget that last part. Satan loves to confuse us and use what other people say to make us doubt God. We also have to realize that when we do doubt God, or think things that are not obedient to Christ, it's not always us. As I said, Satan is vicious. And he is able to plant ideas or thoughts in our minds. Even if it us, though, it's our sinful nature talking - not the Spirit. Our sinful selves are (obviously) sinful and not always true - but the Holy Spirit we have living in us is the very Spirit of truth.

If you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit has put His truth in your heart. Don't let the enemy make you doubt that. Take that thought and make it obedient to Christ. You have the knowledge of God in your heart and mind - don't confuse that or replace it with the "knowledge" of man.

rant.

Okay, I gotta get this off my chest...

Why do people have to swear? I know that sounds naive, and I really do understand why. Sometimes the pain that comes from dropping something really heavy on your toe doesn't seem to be covered by a simple "ouch". But I think Christians, and people of influence, and especially people with influence who call themselves Christians need to be careful.

I admit, this is kind of directed to something I saw on Twitter: someone who claimed to be a Christian and who I thought was really cool randomly dropped an f-bomb. Um, what? Really? ...I guess what irks me so much is that blurting something out in the heat of the moment is one thing, but intentionally typing something out is quite another.

I know that swearing does not take away your "Christian card", and it doesn't make God love you any less, but it still bothers me. Maybe because when I see that, I think of this verse: "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do." (1 Peter 1:15) We all sin, and none of us can be completely holy. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, that we should just keep sinning because God loves us anyway. ("Why stop sinning, when he keeps forgiving?" If you haven't seen that video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOGlSQlMUSA)

Forgive me for ranting, but I think that our words are something we can control, to some extent. Especially our typed words, for goodness' sake. If you speak the same words and use the same vulgar language as the rest of the world, what is going to make you as a Christian any different from the non-believers around you?

Seriously. This doesn't just apply to our words, but all our actions: The church needs to WAKE UP and realize that we are not of the world!! So why do we keep trying? We serve a holy, spotless God: why would we want to imitate the trash of the world??

Argh. Lord, please wake us up.

Looking At The Heart

I know I don't post very often, but usually what happens is, I start writing something, then think it sounds stupid, and give up. It's ridiculous. Does anyone actually read this? Who knows. But even if no one does, my blog is still an encouragement and reminder to me: a place for the better parts of myself to encourage the not-so-great parts of myself when that part seems to be winning out. Does that make sense?

What I want to say today to you, or to me, or whoever, is: stop judging people by the outside. Easier said than done, I know.

But we, or at least I, do it so much without even realizing it, and it's so wrong. I categorize people immediately upon seeing them, and when I categorize, I assume things. That girl's makeup looks good? Obviously, she's secure about herself and I should feel inferior. That guy looks like a "homeschooler"? Obviously, he's socially awkward and needs my help.

Um. Seriously, Katie?

Yes. It's not always that extreme, and I don't always think these things consciously, but I certainly have judged people like that before.

Lord, forgive me. Thinking about this can easily make me depressed, but luckily, God doesn't leave us alone with these kinds of things. He has answers.

1. The first thing we have to realize when we're looking at our own judgmental tendencies (or any sin, actually) is that God loves us in the midst of them. In fact, He forgives us of them. Jesus' blood completely covers our sins, and we are fully forgiven. God is a lot more forgiving, and loving, than we give Him credit for! He doesn't just love us when we're being lovable. He loves us in our worst moments, as well as our best. (After all, what use would His sacrifice be if we were good all the time?)

2. The second thing we have to remember about God is that He understands why we do what we do. (Psalm 33:15 - "He made their hearts, so he understands everything they do.") God knows it's hard to be us, and He gets how easy it is to sin. He gets it. Men look at the outside and God looks at the heart, so we should too. But God also knows that looking at someone's heart from the outside is a difficult feat. In fact, it can't be done with our own eyes. So that's why we need God.

In the case of judging people, or any sin, victory can be attained, but it can only be attained with the help of the Holy Spirit. He wants to help us and has all the power to do so; all we have to do is ask! When we do ask, He always answers. Always.

So in the end, I am judgmental. I assume too much. And I think I know people before I actually meet them. But the God I serve looks at the heart, and He truly does know people. Lord, let me see through your eyes! This is my prayer. Is it yours?